Tuesday, May 20, 2014

He still lets me be me.

As i've aged, as gracefully as I can remembering that age is but a number bearing no result on how I should feel, I feel a little old. However, this is not something I necessarily consider to be a bad thing it is merely a difference. As we move through our own timeline, aging beautifully, the universe sends us an ebb and flow of challenges, obstacles, and blessings.  My aim is to respect my flow and where I am in my life because it is exactly where I am meant to be. One constant in my ever changing life, revolving cast of characters, and never ending changes in direction has been the man by my side. My partner, my best friend, and my love.
I woke up one day last week and realized that in only a few days I will have been married to the greatest partner one could imagine for six amazing years. Not only that, but this upcoming November will mark our twelfth year in each others lives. We've been married half as long as we've been together. At only 28, its amazing to be able to say that. I had 6 great years to be young, to grow in love,  and to grow on my own.

I went through high school and college, with the same guy yet still learning who I was as an individual. He allowed me to do that. Something in his sweet subtle nature met my loud outgoing character without fear or resistance. I was an animal he felt no need to tame. Of course the typical issues arose, a little jealousy here and there, silly fights, and insecurities. Yet like a bull we pushed through those issues. Of course I knew I wanted to marry him, but we waited. We aren't ones to rush anything. When he finally proposed to me, a wedding became a real idea. I always loved weddings, from when I was a little girl I remembered how much fun they are for everyone involved. Such a day of happiness, everyone is elated for the happy couple and they themselves are in a state of shock and pure bliss
having finally found that one who will walk by their side until the end of days. What a beautiful experience.
Now as my friends plan their weddings and I see the joy and pain in the whole process, followed with happy honey moon photos and all the greatness that follows it reminds me of my own.
On a beautiful sunny day in May, I married Kris in a downtown Denver courtroom with a few of our closest friends and my immediate family. Our wedding was scheduled to be in August but due to some "time sensitive" paperwork for a grant for school we decided to jump the gun...no more waiting. So it was our little secret, we were married a whole summer before our wedding in georgetown. In a way it was an exciting romantic secret that just gave our relationship more unique flavor.  Ok, so then comes the wedding. Utter disaster in my opinion with every possible problem from the lack of site staff, monsoon rain all day, car accidents, hack of a DJ, oh and the lovely hail during my ceremony. But you know what everyone else remembers from that day. This...
We were pretty happy right then.

Now fast forward six years and here we are. Still full of life and wanderlust. Living in southern California, having the greatest adventure of our lives. Finally on our own two feet making our dreams come true. Since I was a little girl it was my dream to move to the ocean. While that was probably not kris's dream, he helped me fulfill mine. We have an amazing stand in family of awesome friends who not only care about each other but mesh so well its like we've been together for centuries. And I am still happily married. All to often I get this response when I tell people I am married.."(Scof) YOURE married? Hows that going?" over time my response has gotten better and better but it usually ends with I couldn't be happier. It is a blessing to have bypassed the dating game, while I applaud my single friends for having the courage to embrace it and enjoy it I am truly grateful that I had this part of my life pretty well figured out. As my life changes and revolves we dance the sweet dance of life together. Its nice to have one constant, it gives me so much more room to embrace the weird, the adventure, the climb and the fall knowing it will always be into his arms. Are relationship is not perfect, we have our moments of weakness but we've never let that change the way we love each other. Sure we fight about money, jobs, the future just like any couple but we don't let that conversation become a wedge between us. And most importantly we are forgiving. I am not perfect and neither is his, as long as we both remember that it is easier to forgive one another.
 He still lets me be me. No matter what the circumstance, he never asked me to sacrifice who I am to fit into his agenda. We allow each other space, knowing we've always got each others back . No matter what he will always be there for me, as I will for him. We don't criticize each other, we don't judge. Its an unconditional love that exists stronger than any obstacle that keeps up strong together.
I think the best part about being married for so long at this point is the fact that I am still young, I didn't miss out on anything and when we do decide to have kids I know that I will have so much experience to share with them and I am blessed that the adventure did not end after I do. It keeps getting better and better.

I celebrate our marriage with a happy heart and the belief that we have what it takes to weather any storm. To anyone who asks me if I believe in soul mates...my answer is absolutely, I caught mine.

 And any guy that is willing to marry a woman who comes around and end cap like this

is deserving of more love than you could ever imagine.

1 comment:

  1. Dolly I am glad the two of you are so happy, that makes all the headaches and gray hairs you gave me well worth the journey. I love you so much. And miss you dearly.
    Your Daddy


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