Wednesday, May 23, 2012

23 Days in...

So it's been an incredibly long time since my last post. Obviously you could guess that it were due to laziness or lack of internet capabilities, little desire, etc. In reality, it is the simple fact that so much has happened in the last month and a half, I've been afraid to even dare try posting about it. What will be saved for another post, when i have the balls to post about it, can be simplified down to this- moving to another state is incredibly difficult.

 If you have my luck, which is little to none, well guess what? Its even harder. No matter how much I planned, saved, organized, or stressed out; no plan could have prepared me for every damn bump in the road. This blog was supposed to track the incredible journey that is/was my new adventure, which has quite literally been a nightmare. There are things I can tell you, and things I cannot but lets just say that everything that could go wrong, did.

Here I am 23 days later, the glorious life I planned for my self is far from my reach. No job, no internet, no cable. Thank the heavens above that I paid rent two months in advance and paid all my bills before I left. I am looking back on the last 23 days and I have to say that I have some regrets. Of course having a job before I moved would have been a good idea, but I guess what I wish more is that I would have known that I would be living in San Diego with no job for a month- a little more saving or a little better planning and I could have enjoyed it a little more. It was like being on vacation- except for that I failed to see it that way. I've stressed every day about money, making what we have stretch as far a possible, and jobs-which are harder to get than I thought, and getting our tiny little joke of an apartment together.

This post may sound cynical but in truth, I feel good. Because I am still standing, I am still making it work, and I need to get out and enjoy what is in front of me. I moved to paradise, turns out paradise will not remove your worries, it only masks them for a brief moment. But as long as I know this fact, I can stop expecting it to make my problems go away. I have to fix my own issues, and I have to make my happiness. I need to hula hoop, I need to play on the beach, I need to dance, I need to take pictures- If you know me, you would be shocked to find out that I have taken my camera out once. ONCE! Are you joking me!? I know what I need to do. Its simply a matter of doing it.

Get it together, Tara.

Don't worry- mom, dad- don't think that I am sad or regretful of this decision, just know that reality hit me hard, and it's a life's lesson I hope to learn much from. Every struggle will become a victory. I have yet another job interview today and lets just say Im in the dirt begging the big guy to help me out with this one.

Cheers for now, I'll bring you some good news soon.

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